Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

February 19, 2013  |  Family, Uncategorized

Seven years ago, Cornelius and I used to ride the train together every morning on our way to work, bring each other hot tea during lunch time, and pop into one another’s classroom at the end of the day to see what our kiddos had been up to.  People used to ask us if we ever got sick of each other, and the answer was always no.  We never did.  Minor, as Cornelius was known then, was as friendly as ever, full of jokes, and it was the ultimate strength to our relationship that we got to share students.  He was the Minor to my Ms. Kass, and we loved it.

If you asked us back then, I’m not sure we would have described our future lives as they are now-Me, still teaching-but this time a Working Mom.  Him, still educating, but this time as a Staff Developer.  Me, fufilling two parent duty and curating the house while Him, enduring grueling 16 hour work days walking around as a famous Black person in China.  This life is one of sustenance, but this shiznit is HARD. For the both of us.

Although this being married on dual sides of the world thing is difficult, we both know the dual sides of the world part is temporary.  And as much tenacity as all this involves, we both know it’s good for us.  We enjoy the challenge.


Just yesterday, Cornelius was describing the ride-your-moped to work schtick that was a completely pleasant surprise.  Upon arriving to his hotel, they handed him the keys to as he described it “One of those Chinatown Delivery Bikes”.  And that Shanghai is 8th Ave Brooklyn times 100.  Or, more accurately speaking, times 1,000,000.  The work in itself is no easy task.  There’s all that immense pressure, educational rigor blah blah blah that he has endure.  But it always makes him stronger, brighter.

Cornelius, in his “Rental Vehicle”. Shanghai, China Feb 18, 2013

As for me, Soleil and I completed our first solo jet journey! We went on a three day, two night, Mom and Child adventure to Springboro, Ohio to see my best friend, Kristen, that I’ve been pleased to know since age 11. Soleil is the sweetest, most perfect side kick any mama could ask for.  She basically could coach other babies on the Principles of Good Flying Behavior.  When we arrived to Ohio, we learned the tenants of carseat riding, toddler wisdom (Kristen has a tiny cohort of 3 kids ages 18 months, 3, and 6), and billygoat petting.  Soleil was down with the toddler wisdom, not so much with the carseat and billygoats.  She is definitely our Brooklyn Baby.

Soleil and I, somewhere in the atmosphere between Ohio and New York City, Feb 18, 2013

Soleil and I, somewhere in the atmosphere between Ohio and New York City, Feb 18, 2013


While Cornelius is gone, I learn to be dynamic in Mother Wisdom ways that I never thought I would be, or could be.  I know how to clean the catbox ever so gingerly, scooping up disgusting nuggets like a whisper while Soleil naps,waiting 2o minutes in so she doesn’t wake up.  Doing laundry is one of Soleil’s favorite events-the laundry basket turns into a car, with warm, ventilated clothes heaping in beside her.  Taking out the trash is the first leg of the walk to the playground, and doing dishes is part of our breakfast routine.

Although Cornelius and I are challenged and strengthened by the absence of each other, I can’t say that I miss him any less with each trip that approaches.  But I will say with each trip that comes, every day he that is here and that our family is together is approached with complete humility and love.






  1. Love reading the Minors’ posts!

  2. We sure had a fun time with him. Thanks for letting him hang around us. We all learned a lot!

    I loved your comment about him being a famous black man in China. So true. Of course, there are only five black men in China at anyone time, but at least he is a famous one! 😉

  3. I love this bit: She basically could coach other babies on the Principles of Good Flying Behavior.

    May I book her for training sessions for infants, toddlers, and young children flying to-and-from Europe? What is her speaker’s fee and is a per diem necessary? The kids on Asia routes are excellent, but the kids on transatlantic flights are horrors.

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