We’ve Been Parents for a Year

April 12, 2013  |  Culture, Family

I’m from the old school. The reactive, post Magic Johnson old school. Where parents, teachers, and media all told me that if I ever had sex, I was going to die. Immediately. Somehow my parents instilled in me a healthy fear of everything.

All of it was out to kill me: the drugs, the MTV, and yes, the sex…

In that world of teenage fire and parental brimstone, the only thing worse than dying immediately from sex was “getting somebody’s daughter pregnant”. (I still hear those words in my father’s judgmental baritone.)

This is how I was conditioned.

One of those "home pregnancy test dad-to-be photos"... 'Cause everybody takes their partner to a meadow to read the pregnancy test.

One of those “home pregnancy test dad-to-be photos”… ‘Cause everybody takes their partner to a meadow to read the pregnancy test. Foolishness.

Though Kass and I were planning to procreate, when the doctor finally delivered the news that we were expecting, I was not one of those “home pregnancy test commercial dads-to-be”… all like, “Oh, honey, we did it!” My conditioning would not allow it. My first reaction was, “My father is going to be PISSED!”

Kass had to remind me that I am in my mid-thirties. Not my mid-teens. (I still told my mama first. Sorry, Pop.)

Our world has been shifting since that moment. When Soleil joined our unit, she brought a universe of experiences and emotions with her. It is hard for me to believe that we have been living this reverie for a full year. Soleil is one-year-old. Kass is amazing, and I am so blessed.

Since blessings have been shining my way, I figure that I’ll use this opportunity to spread love by sharing some insight that I’ve gained on the way.

  1. Everyone has something to teach you. Learn. Since having Soleil, all my friends have had tons of advice. I might (not) have listened. I’ve been most impressed, however, by Soleil’s ability to consistently teach me new things. Listen to the kids.
  2. Read to the people you love. My favorite time of the day is story time. Reading to Soleil and Kass is blissful. I might find some more people and read to them just ’cause. You should too. Seriously. Volunteer at a school, nursing home, mosque, whatever, and read to the people you meet there. Noting builds community like words.
  3. Talk lots. Every time Soleil does something might be the first time she’s ever done it, so we have to explain everything. Explaining everything has made my other relationships positive too. Communication works. Do it.
  4. Don’t get nobody’s daughter pregnant. 🙂

– Corn 


  1. Pam Carter-Wiley

    Your dear child, Soleil, will continue to teach you all your lives in ways you cannot now even imagine. Although initially you introduce the world to your child, as the years pass, your child(ren) will open up the world to you in wondrous ways. How blessed you and Kass are enjoying the wonderful journey that is parenthood!

Leave a Reply